FAQS About Divorce

Below are some frequently asked questions about Divorce:

Who can file for divorce in North Carolina?

Our firm’s experienced Wilmington divorce lawyers can clarify all the filing requirements for North Carolina divorces. You can start divorce proceedings in North Carolina if:

Generally, North Carolina is a no-fault divorce state. If even one of the spouses wishes to end the marriage, it’s enough to start the divorce process. However, because of the one-year waiting period, people who choose to divorce because of marital misconduct like adultery or abuse may pursue legal separation first.

How does asset distribution work in North Carolina?

Our skilled divorce lawyer at Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division can help protect your rights during property distribution. In North Carolina, you have two asset distribution options:

  1. Covering all property settlement issues in a voluntary separation agreement
    Settling property division in a divorce court
  2. We strongly recommend the first option to save time and money, avoid conflict, and give you more control over asset distribution.

When dividing marital assets, NC divorce courts use the principle of equitable distribution rather than a 50-50 split. The court’s goal is fair asset distribution based on both spouses’ income, earning capacity, needs, and child custody arrangements.

How can I protect my parental rights during divorce?

Consult our Wilmington divorce attorney team to protect your children’s interests and your parental rights during divorce. If you have minor children, preserving stability in their lives during and after divorce is your primary concern.

NC divorce courts always prefer that the co-parents work out a mutually acceptable custody and visitation plan. If custody disagreements arise, the judge will usually mandate mediation for the co-parents before hearing the case. The child’s best interests are the deciding factor in all custody disputes.

Do I need a family & divorce lawyer in NC?

While some couples settle their divorces without legal help, it’s highly advisable to work with a knowledgeable family divorce lawyer who can counsel you on your legal rights, negotiate with your spouse and their divorce attorney, draft or revise a separation agreement, and smooth any conflicts that arise during divorce. At Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division in Wilmington, NC, we are here to represent and advise you as you go through this stressful life event. Call us at (910) 769-7339 for a consultation.

Wilmington, NC Law Firm Releases Complimentary Divorce Kits for Men and Women

WILMINGTON, North Carolina—Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division announces the release of complimentary divorce kits for men and women that address the unique needs of each when contemplating divorce and seeking additional information.

Offered as a complimentary download, the divorce kits provide vital tips and strategies, including:

“We designed these complimentary divorce kits as a resource for men and women who are considering a divorce,” says Clarke Speaks, Divorce and Family Law Attorney, and Founder of Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division. “In our experience, people come to us with multiple questions and concerns when contemplating such a life-altering decision. We wanted to offer a complimentary download they can use to gather all the information they need to decide on a path forward. Because men and women have different needs and priorities, we tailored these guides to address their concerns, walk them through some preliminary steps, and prepare them to make the right decision for themselves and their families.”

To download your complimentary divorce kit for men, click here. To download your complimentary divorce kit for women, click here.

For more information, visit https://speaksfamilylaw.com/.

About Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division

Whether you are facing a divorce or separation, looking to adopt, or navigating your legal rights as a parent, our team is here for you. We understand that clients come to us during some of the most stressful moments of their lives, and we know how important it is to have a strong and loyal advocate in your corner during this time. You deserve a team that understands where you are coming from to fight on your behalf. Let your trusted Wilmington, NC, family law attorneys at Speaks Family Law speak for you!

7 Strategies for Divorcing a Narcissist in Wilmington, North Carolina

Sarah had been married to John for 10 years, but it felt like a lifetime. John was charming and charismatic, but he also had a dark side. He was manipulative and controlling and had an insatiable need for attention and admiration.

Sarah had tolerated his behavior for years, but she had finally reached her breaking point. She knew that she needed to divorce John, but she was scared. She knew divorcing a narcissist would be difficult, but she was determined to protect herself and her children.

In this blog, a Wilmington divorce attorney from Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division, will share strategies for divorcing a narcissist during this challenging time. If you're in a similar situation, know you're not alone; help is available. Call (910) 769-7339 today to schedule your case evaluation. Who speaks for you? We do!

Expect Narcissistic Rage

Before we share strategies for divorcing your narcissistic spouse, you must be prepared to be a target of their narcissistic rage. Narcissistic rage can be triggered by anything the narcissist perceives as threatening their self-worth, such as sharing damaging information about their behavior or suggesting therapy.

Divorcing a narcissist can be incredibly challenging because it can represent a significant blow to their self-esteem. Prioritizing your emotional well-being and protecting yourself during this difficult time is critical. This may include cutting off contact with the narcissist and seeking support from professionals who can help you navigate the situation more effectively.

If children are involved, work with an attorney who can ensure that your parenting rights are protected. A narcissistic spouse may attempt to deprive you of these rights through manipulation or other tactics, so having a fierce legal advocate on your side is essential.

Strategy 1: Document Everything

Dealing with a narcissistic spouse can be challenging, so take steps to protect yourself. One of the best things you can do is document everything. Here are some tips on how to do it effectively:

Keep a Journal

Write down any incidents that occur, including dates, times, and what was said or done.

Save Emails and Text Messages

If your spouse sends you abusive or threatening messages, save them as evidence.

Record Conversations

If possible, record any conversations you have with your spouse. This can be helpful if they deny saying or doing something later on.

Keep Financial Records

Make copies of bank statements, credit card bills, and other financial documents. This can help protect you if your spouse tries hiding assets during a divorce.

Get Witnesses

If possible, have someone else present when you interact with your spouse. This can provide additional evidence if needed.

Strategy 2: Avoid Emotional Triggers

A narcissist often uses emotional triggers to manipulate and control their partner. Be aware of your own emotional triggers and avoid engaging in behavior that may provoke the narcissist.

Example: Avoid discussing any personal weaknesses or vulnerabilities with your spouse. A Narcissist exploits any weaknesses or vulnerabilities their partner may have to gain control over them.

So, keep any personal vulnerabilities private and do not engage in discussions that might expose them. This can include not discussing personal financial struggles or relationship issues with your narcissistic spouse, as they may use this information to manipulate or control the situation.

Strategy 3: Hire an Experienced Wilmington Divorce Attorney

Hiring an experienced Wilmington divorce attorney is essential when divorcing a narcissist. A skilled attorney will understand the situation's complexities and provide guidance and support throughout the proceedings.

When hiring an attorney, look for someone with experience with high-conflict divorces who understands how to deal with a narcissistic personality. Choose an attorney who communicates effectively and will be your advocate and speak for you. You can read more about hiring a North Carolina divorce attorney in a blog post here.

Strategy 4: Prioritize Self-Care

Divorce proceedings can be emotionally draining, especially when dealing with a narcissist. Prioritizing self-care is essential to maintain your physical and emotional well-being. Self-care can include activities such as exercise, meditation, and therapy. We recommend maintaining a support system of family and friends who can provide emotional support during this difficult time.

Strategy 5: Maintain Boundaries

Narcissists often try to control those around them, even during a divorce. Maintain boundaries to protect yourself and your interests. This may include setting limits on communication, refusing to engage in arguments or manipulation, and seeking legal protection if necessary.

Strategy 6: Communicate Effectively

Effective communication is crucial when divorcing a narcissist. Communicate in a way that is clear, concise, and non-confrontational. Avoid engaging in arguments or emotional outbursts, which can influence the narcissist's need for control. Instead, focus on sticking to the facts and communicating your needs and concerns calmly and rationally.

Strategy 7: Be Prepared for Court

While resolving all divorce proceedings outside of court may be ideal, this can be especially difficult when dealing with a narcissistic spouse. Narcissists often reject compromise because it does not align with their need for control and superiority. As a result, collaborative methods or mediation may be unlikely to succeed, as negotiating with a narcissist can be challenging.

Here are some of the ways your Wilmington divorce attorney will prepare you for court:

Discuss Strategy

Your attorney will work with you to develop a legal strategy that takes into account the specific circumstances of your case, including the behavior of your narcissistic spouse.

Review Evidence

Your attorney will review any evidence you have gathered and help you prepare to present it in court.

Practice Testimony

Your attorney may conduct mock trials or practice sessions to help you prepare for testifying in court. This can help you feel more confident and prepared during the actual trial.

Prepare for Cross-Examination

Your attorney will help you prepare for cross-examination by the narcissistic spouse's attorney. This may include discussing potential questions or tactics that may be used and helping you develop effective responses.

Discuss Potential Outcomes

Your attorney will discuss the potential outcomes of the trial and help you understand what to expect. This can help you prepare emotionally and mentally for the proceedings.

FAQs About Divorcing a Narcissist

Q: What is a narcissist?

A: A narcissist has an inflated sense of self-importance, lacks empathy for others, and craves attention and admiration.

Q: How do I know if my spouse is a narcissist?

A: Some signs that your spouse may be a narcissist include constantly seeking attention, lacking empathy, being manipulative, having an exaggerated sense of self-importance, and being unwilling to take responsibility for their actions.

Q: What makes divorcing a narcissist different from divorcing anyone else?

A: Divorcing a narcissist can be more difficult because they may try to manipulate or control the process to maintain their power and control over you.

Q: How can I prepare myself mentally for the divorce process?

A: Prioritize your mental health by seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist, and educate yourself on what to expect during the divorce process to feel more prepared.

Q: Can I expect my spouse to cooperate during the divorce?

A: It's unlikely that your spouse will cooperate during the divorce if they are a true narcissist. They may try to manipulate or control the situation to maintain their power over you.

Q: Will my spouse use our children against me during the divorce process?

A: Your spouse may try to use your children as leverage against you during the divorce process if they are true narcissists. Work with an attorney who can help protect your parental rights.

Q: Can I expect my spouse to become violent during the divorce?

A: If your spouse has exhibited past violent behavior or has threatened violence, they may become violent during the divorce process. Take steps to protect yourself by working with an experienced attorney and seeking support from law enforcement if necessary.

Q: How do I move on after divorcing a narcissistic spouse?

A: Moving on after divorcing a narcissistic spouse requires patience, self-love, therapy, a support system, setting boundaries, focusing on personal growth and development, finding new hobbies/interests, etc.

Divorcing a Narcissist? Call a Wilmington Divorce Attorney Who Speaks for You!

If you are divorcing a narcissist, you must prioritize your emotional well-being and protect yourself and your children during the proceedings. Working with experienced Wilmington divorce attorneys who understand the challenges of divorcing a narcissistic spouse and can advocate for your rights can help you successfully navigate the challenges so you can move forward with your life.

Divorce is challenging enough without the added stress of dealing with a narcissistic spouse. Who speaks for you? We do. Call (910) 769-7339 today to schedule your case evaluation with divorce lawyers in Wilmington, NC, at Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division, or complete our online form.

How Long Do Alimony Payments Last in Wilmington, North Carolina?

If you have recently divorced in North Carolina, you may wonder, “How long do alimony payments last?” The answer varies in every situation and depends on several factors ranging from terms specified in the divorce agreement to the divorcees’ needs, abilities, and lifestyles.

At Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division, we assist individuals and families when they are in the midst of a divorce or seeking to change terms following their divorce agreement if relevant circumstances have changed — such as a change in employment, habitation, or needs. Read below to learn about modifying or ending alimony in North Carolina, and contact us at (910) 769-7339 to schedule a case evaluation with an experienced alimony attorney in Wilmington, North Carolina.

Identify The Reason(s) Why Alimony Was Ordered

A judge determines alimony based on several factors that may be objective or subjective. Usually, the purpose of alimony is to provide needed assistance. The reasons may be few or many, and a two-step process determines the amounts by addressing the dependent spouse’s needs and the non-dependent spouse’s ability to pay.

In North Carolina, Alimony May Have Been Ordered Or Denied In Response to Adultery

Circumstances exist when a judge awards alimony due to extramarital affairs or other illicit sexual activity, which would be types of marital misconduct: In those situations, the cheating spouse must pay alimony to the other spouse unless the non-cheating spouse forgives or previously forgave the cheating spouse.

Alternatively, a dependent spouse will be denied alimony if the court finds they engaged in illicit sexual activity. If both spouses engaged in illicit sexual activity during the marriage and before or on the date of separation, then the award or denial of alimony is based on consideration of all circumstances.

Note the reason(s) for the alimony order or denial. This information would be relevant if you seek to modify an alimony award later.

What Circumstances Can Cause Alimony To End?

While in some cases, alimony is provided as a single lump sum or is limited to a specified period, in other cases, it is ordered for an indefinite period and made in regular payments. However, because the purpose of alimony is to provide needed assistance, the following circumstances will cause alimony to end:

If any of these circumstances have come to pass, then you should speak with an experienced North Carolina alimony lawyer to ensure the changes in circumstances are recorded and your alimony payment requirements end accordingly.

Pursuing Modification for a Substantial Change in Circumstances

An order for alimony in North Carolina can be modified at any time by either party or anyone interested by a motion and a showing of changed circumstances, so long as the orders were not entered by consent before October 1st, 1967. If you seek to modify an alimony order, pay close attention to the reasoning and purpose(s) for the original award so you can reference changes to support your request.

Note that lump-sum alimony payments cannot be modified. Alimony that is part of a property settlement agreement may also be denied modification.

Speak with an experienced North Carolina alimony attorney if you wish to seek a modification to an alimony order. Because the law requires alimony payments as part of a court order, you should take care only to cease payments with a successful modification; to do otherwise would likely invite legal action. If expected alimony payments have stopped arriving without explanation, consult a North Carolina alimony lawyer.

Differentiating Alimony from Post-Separation Support

In North Carolina, both spouses must live apart for one year before they can divorce. Post-separation support consists of temporary payments made during this time to cover basics such as food, housing, and clothing. It may also help a dependent spouse pursue retraining or additional education to become self-sufficient. While similar to alimony, post-separation support is distinct and temporary, lasting during the separation period before a divorce.

While post-separation support will usually continue until the date of a divorce, it can be modified or amended at any time via a motion showing changed circumstances. Discuss with your alimony attorney if you have questions about pursuing or modifying post-separation support in North Carolina.

What Should I Do If I Discover a Change In Circumstances?

If you discover a past change in circumstances, consult a North Carolina alimony attorney immediately to assess your situation. You may be able to seek a modification of the alimony order.

Work With An Experienced Alimony Attorney at Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division in Wilmington, NC

Orders to pay alimony in North Carolina are customized to the unique circumstances surrounding the divorcees and their abilities to maintain their standard of living. However, both parties often lose some financial ground following a divorce.

If you want to adjust alimony payments following your divorce, don’t search for “divorce lawyers near me” in Wilmington, North Carolina. Call (910) 769-7339 today to schedule a case evaluation with a knowledgeable alimony lawyer at Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division, or fill out our online form. We will assess your goals and identify whether modification of alimony is an appropriate and viable option for you and your ex-spouse.

Who speaks for you? We do.

How is Alimony Determined in NC?

If you and your spouse are divorcing in North Carolina, you may wonder, “How is alimony determined in NC?” Alimony, also known as spousal support, is distinct from other types of court-ordered support. Read below to learn how alimony works in North Carolina, from the purposes and goals of spousal support to the factors determining the amounts and duration of alimony.

At Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division, we help our clients in North Carolina pursue fair and appropriate alimony decisions when they divorce. We invite you to contact us at (910) 769-7339 today to schedule a consultation with our experienced North Carolina alimony attorney team.

Understanding Alimony Versus Post-Separation Support in NC

Alimony is distinct from post-separation support. Whereas alimony provides for a former spouse after a divorce, post-separation support is temporary support paid from one spouse to the other for a short period. While each case is different, post-separation support is often ordered when one spouse has been out of the workforce and would have to prepare a resume and seek employment to become self-sufficient.

Sometimes the spouse may also require additional education before they can become self-sufficient. Because one year of separation is required before filing for divorce in North Carolina, a couple pursuing divorce will likely encounter the issue of post-separation support first.

The Purposes of Alimony or Spousal Support in North Carolina

While there are situations in which alimony may be permanent, such as when one spouse must take care of a chronically sick or disabled child or parent, alimony is generally intended to be temporary help for a spouse before they achieve self-sufficiency. It is generally not intended for those capable of securing gainful employment.

Often, a stay-at-home parent will have significant gaps in their work history that can prevent them from securing employment at a sufficient rate of income. Alimony bridges the gap between the time a couple divorces and when the supported spouse can attain financial independence.

The Processes Involved in Determining Alimony in North Carolina

In North Carolina, a two-part test determines alimony, but numerous other factors can come into play to affect eligibility or payable amounts. In the first part of the test, a judge compares a spouse’s expenses to their income to determine whether they need alimony payments.

In the second part of the test, the judge looks at the other spouse's income to determine to what extent they could provide the needed support. Once determined, a court order enforces alimony.

Factors Affecting Alimony in North Carolina

The judge can consider many factors of spouses’ relationship, history, and earning ability when deciding whether to award alimony:

How Does Being Unfaithful Affect Alimony in North Carolina?

If you have had an affair, it will generally prevent you from being eligible to collect alimony from your spouse. Likewise, if your spouse requests alimony after you have had an affair, you will typically be forced to pay it by a court order. In situations where both spouses were unfaithful, the court will decide on alimony questions.

How Long Does Alimony Last in NC?

Sometimes alimony is paid as a lump sum, and other times it consists of regular payments. Support may be limited to a specified period or continue indefinitely. Since alimony’s purpose is to provide needed assistance, certain conditions will terminate alimony payments:

The terms of your divorce settlement and an alimony court order may specify any of the above. Consult an experienced North Carolina alimony lawyer if you want to stop making alimony payments because these terms have been met or if your ex-spouse has become self-sufficient.

Contact an Experienced North Carolina Alimony Attorney at Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division, to Assess Spousal Support in Your Divorce Case

While North Carolina courts seek fairness when awarding alimony, multiple factors can impact the supported spouse’s need or the supporting spouse’s ability to pay. It is vital to communicate relevant details with your divorce lawyer so they can ensure the judge includes them when determining alimony.

If you have questions about alimony in North Carolina, contact our experienced alimony legal team at (910) 769-7339 today to schedule a consultation. We will address your goals and concerns to help you chart a path forward for your post-divorce future.

Who speaks for you? We do.

Adoption: What Are the Requirements To Adopt a Child in North Carolina?

Where are you in your journey to adopt a child? There are several ways to adopt a child in North Carolina, and there are both general requirements and others that are specific to particular types of adoption.

At Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division, we form a strong bond with our clients. Your family’s interests are our interests, and adopting a child is among the greatest decisions you can make to positively impact a young person’s future. We invite you to contact us at (910) 769-7339 to schedule a consultation with our experienced North Carolina family lawyer team regarding your next steps toward adopting a child.

General Requirements Before You Can Adopt From an Adoption Agency in North Carolina

The path to adoption can be a long one, and there are some steps you should understand in the beginning before you begin the process. To be approved for an adoption agency’s waiting list, you must:

Adoption agencies will seek to match children with suitable adoptive families as they become available. You may be competing with several applicants, which can cause long delays before you are interviewed for consideration to adopt a particular child.

If you are selected to become the adoptive parent, there are many legal documents that will need to be completed and processed. Your attorney should review all of the documents before you sign to finalize the adoption.

Additional Factors When Seeking to Adopt in North Carolina

Consent to Adopt

While any minor or adult can be adopted by an adult over eighteen years of age, a child who is twelve years of age or older in North Carolina must consent to the adoption.

Adoption causes a noncustodial parent to have their rights and responsibilities regarding their child removed. Child support owed up to that point will still need to be paid. In some cases, the noncustodial parent will be difficult to locate, complicating and delaying the adoption effort.

Family Adoption

Many times, when possible, the courts prefer to keep the child living with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, or siblings instead of relocating them into other families. This is thought to create less disturbance in the child’s life than transplanting them into a completely different family.

Adoption by Stepparents

In North Carolina, a stepparent will need to have been married to the biological parent for at least six months before seeking to adopt the stepchild. Both the custodial parent and the noncustodial parent of the stepchild have rights and must consent to the adoption.

Residency in Your Current House in North Carolina

North Carolina requires residency in the current home for at least 90 days before an adoption can be finalized. This is in addition to the requirement to reside in North Carolina for six months before filing a petition to adopt. Residency requirements may be waived in some situations.

Closed vs. Open Adoption

Sometimes birth parents do not want the child to find them, and adopting parents also may wish to prevent their adopted child from locating their birth parents. These would be examples of a closed adoption. In contrast, an open adoption is when both the birth parents and the adopting parents wish for the child to be able to locate the biological parents. Understand there may be legitimate medical reasons for accessibility to birth parent information.

The Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA)

If a child you are seeking to adopt is of (Native American) Indian heritage as defined by the Indian Child Welfare Act, the terms of this act will affect how and whether you will be able to adopt the child. Statistics continue to show that children among American Indian and Native Alaskan demographics are placed with adopting families outside of their own families’ cultures at much higher rates than are adopted children from other groups.

Special Requirements for Adoption from Foster Care in North Carolina

Foster parenting and adopting from foster care are two different processes with their own requirements. Be sure to understand this if you are considering adopting from foster care.

In North Carolina, these are the requirements to adopt from foster care:

Your North Carolina adoption attorney can provide you with additional guidance regarding this process if this is a path you are considering for adoption.

An Experienced North Carolina Adoption Attorney from Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division, Can Help You Adopt a Child in Wilmington, NC

Our experienced North Carolina adoption attorneys are here to help you accept an adopted child into your growing family, and the requirements for adoption are in place to protect and prepare both the adoptive family and the child for a healthy relationship in an encouraging home environment.

Contact our team of adoption lawyers at Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division in Wilmington, NC, by calling (910) 769-7339 today to schedule a consultation so we can address your adoption goals and guide you onto the right path for you to adopt a child in North Carolina.

Who speaks for you? We do.

Child Custody: How to Co-Parent During Holidays in North Carolina

Are you sharing custody of a child or children? We understand it’s never easy, but it can be even more contentious during the holidays. Of course, you and your former spouse want to spend precious holiday moments with your kids, but you must split your time fairly and honor any previous custody agreements. While some North Carolina parents can easily find common ground on child custody, others find themselves locked in a battle over who gets to spend time with their child on Christmas Eve or New Year’s Day.

Concerning quality hours spent with your children, who speaks for you? Our experienced child custody lawyer from Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division shares some ways you can help reduce stress and ease the process of co-parenting during the holidays. To schedule a consultation, call us at (910) 769-7339.

Consider Holidays When Creating a Co-Parenting Plan

The first step in making holidays as peaceful as possible is to plan before the holiday season with the other parent. We have assisted many parents with factoring holidays into their initial custody arrangements or co-parenting plans to prevent any confusion or disagreements later.

Parenting is a full-time job, made even more challenging when former spouses share child custody between two households. Particularly during the holidays, it is vital to consider the logistics of how co-parenting will work to make the season as stress-free as possible for parents and children. Here are some essential items to remember when creating a co-parenting plan for the holidays:

  1. Be clear about which holidays each parent will have child custody. Clarity will help to avoid any confusion or last-minute scrambling.
  2. Plan and communicate with your co-parent about your child's schedule if travel is involved. It is also a good idea to have a backup plan in case of unforeseen travel delays.
  3. Remember that the holidays are a time for family and togetherness. Despite the challenges of co-parenting, focus on your child’s best interests and work with your co-parent to create a happy and memorable holiday season.

If you and your child's other parent cannot agree about dividing holidays, you can seek assistance from a family lawyer. Ultimately, you may need a judge to determine the co-parenting arrangement.

Consult with Your Child's Other Parent About Gift-Giving

Divorced parents in North Carolina may have child custody arrangements that specify which parent has the child on specific holidays. However, even when parents do not have equal child custody, they can still consult with each other about gift-giving during the holidays. Discussing the gifts they plan to purchase for their child can help ensure that the child receives appropriate gifts and does not feel left out or neglected during this special time of year.

Many parents within a co-parenting arrangement feel pressure to match the other parent's gifting habits. Perhaps your former spouse usually spends $1,000 on gifts for each child, but you take a more conservative approach. Alternatively, you may fear that you and the child's other parent will purchase the same gift.

Whatever the case, consulting with the other parent before the holiday season can help reduce tension. If your child has been asking for one specific present, perhaps you and their other parent can go in on it together or determine who will purchase it this year. You can also discuss how much money you plan to spend. It's okay if you and the other parent approach gifting differently as long as you are both aware of the expectations before the holidays.

When consulting with each other, parents should consider the child's age, interests, and needs. They should also strive to agree on a budget for holiday gifts. If they cannot agree, they may need to seek the assistance of a mediator or child custody lawyer. Divorced parents can help make the holidays more enjoyable for their children by taking these steps.

Be Prepared for Higher Emotions During the Holidays

Prepare for volatile emotions during the holiday season. Whether your shared child is four, fourteen, or eighteen, you can expect the holidays to be an emotional time for them. Perhaps the holiday season evokes memories of when you and their other parent were still together. Or maybe your child wishes they could spend these special days with both of you rather than dividing their time. Often, custody arrangements dictate which parent the child will spend Christmas or Hanukkah with, which can lead to feelings of sadness, anger, and betrayal. Be patient with your child and take measures to keep them relaxed. Please don't attempt to suppress their emotions, but allow them to share their feelings with you.

Divorced parents must communicate and plan to make the holidays more enjoyable for everyone. First, each parent should sit down with their child and explain the custody arrangement, clearly explaining which days the child will be spending with each parent. Open dialogue with your child will help to prevent confusion or hurt feelings. Next, both parents should brainstorm ideas for how to make the holidays special for their child. This effort could include traditions like decorating cookies, shopping, enjoying holiday festivities, or watching holiday movies together. Finally, remain flexible for your child’s sake. If they want to spend more time with one parent on a particular day, accommodate their wishes, if possible. By taking these steps, divorced parents can help make the holiday season a time of joy for their entire family.

Keep Your Children In the Loop

Children in joint custody arrangements sometimes feel they have no control over their free time. They constantly shift from household to household at their parents' will, with no say in the matter.

While you cannot always fulfill your child's wishes regarding the custody arrangement, you can keep them in the loop about where they will spend their time. We recommend sitting down with your child and their other parent at the beginning of the year and explaining the custody arrangement for the entire year. Explain which holidays they will spend with each parent as far in advance as possible to give them time to adjust to the arrangement.

If you can create flexibility, allowing your child some control over where they spend time can be highly beneficial. For example, you can let them choose which parent they spend their birthday with, defaulting to the other parent for Christmas.

Consider Celebrating in New Ways

It’s tough when you can’t be with your child on special days like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and their birthday, due to a custody arrangement. However, you and your child can create new traditions and find other ways to celebrate together. For example, you can choose a new day to celebrate Christmas together each year. Or maybe you can make a tradition of driving past Christmas light displays on the way to drop them off at their other parent's house. Even if you cannot spend the holidays with your child, you can still find ways to celebrate together.

Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division: Your Child Custody Lawyers in Wilmington, North Carolina

Are you and your child’s other parent at odds over sharing custody this holiday season? At Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division, we defend our clients against bullies, including uncooperative spouses. We will be your advocate who speaks for you, standing by your side to resolve your child custody challenges and help you and your child make joyful holiday memories to treasure. As experienced child custody attorneys, our nationally recognized firm has guided countless North Carolina parents through custody laws and agreements, and we’re here for you, too. Contact our team at the Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division today at (910) 769-7339, or complete our online form to schedule your case evaluation.

What You Should Expect in Divorce Court in North Carolina

Wilmington Family Lawyers

Divorce hearings can be scary for anyone. They are even more intimidating if you are getting divorced for the first time. Are you wondering what to expect in divorce court? There is no specific answer. Every case is different and it may present unique challenges and experiences. However, having unclear or unrealistic expectations may lead to disappointments. Ask for help from Wilmington family lawyers. They will help you set your expectations right.

1. What should you expect when going through a divorce?

Divorce can be stressful for anyone. It does not matter how bad your marriage was. Remember that all divorce cases are different. Do not expect to have the same experiences that your friends did. Expect to experience a rollercoaster of emotions including:

2. What should you expect in court?

Divorce court is not as complicated as you may think. Working with your Wilmington family lawyers makes the process simpler. However, you should not expect to stand there while your lawyer does all the work.

You must work with them to get the settlement that matches your expectations. Do not let your fear or anger take over. You must remain calm even when your spouse is lying against you.

Do not expect to “win” in a divorce case. No one really wins in divorce court. Even when dealing with important matters such as alimony, custody, or division of property, you should keep your emotions in check. Note that you won’t always get everything you want.

3. Why should you hire Wilmington family lawyers?

Hiring a lawyer is a good idea even if you are going through a non-contested divorce. Divorce lawyers give you the legal advice you need to get through the difficult period. Like marriage, divorce is a legal process that should be treated professionally.

A divorce lawyer will protect your rights, interpret legal terms, speed up the process, help you initiate conversations with your spouse, and ensure fairness through the process. Hiring a lawyer should not be seen as an act of aggression.

4. How should you prepare kids for divorce?

Even when going through a divorce, you should remember that the children are not getting divorced. You should avoid saying rude or hurtful things to your spouse in their presence. Seek the help of a therapist.

They will help the children process their emotions and get through the process. You should also get co-parenting classes for their sake. The more you fight during a divorce, the more damaging the process can be.

Do not attempt to interfere with the relationship between your children and your spouse unless there is a history of abuse.

If you need the help of Wilmington family lawyers, seek help from Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division. We understand that divorce can be a very personal and sensitive matter. You need the help of good lawyers through the process. We will treat you with respect and high levels of professionalism through the process. Contact us today and book an appointment.

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What Is Contempt Of Court In Family Law?

While a family court is a court within the civil court system (in contrast to the criminal court system), when a family court issues an order, the person named in the order is required under law to fulfill the obligations of the order. For example, if a court orders a person to pay child support and they fail to do so, they are in direct violation of a court order and can be penalized as such.

One such penalty for violating a family court order is being held in contempt of court. Don’t hesitate to reach out to our Wilmington family lawyers at the law office of the Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division to learn more, and consider the following about what you should know about contempt of court in a family law case in North Carolina:

What Is Civil Contempt of Court?
If a party does not fulfill their family court order, the affected party can file a motion to hold the party in default in civil contempt of court. Such an order may be filed when a party fails to comply with a court order in regards to:

The purpose of filing a civil contempt order is to force a delinquent party to comply with the order.

Punishment for Civil Contempt of Court

The purpose of holding someone in civil contempt of court is not necessarily to punish the defendant, but instead to ensure that they comply with the court order. While a person may be incarcerated for up to 90 days initially (and up to one year per North Carolina Statute Section 5A-21, typically, a judge will order payment of any unpaid benefits (child support, alimony, etc.) or garnishment of wages, or take action to require the defendant to comply with the original court order.

In some cases, a person who is in violation of a court order could be held in criminal contempt of court, although a person cannot be found in criminal contempt for the same conduct that landed them in civil contempt. If a person is found in criminal contempt, they may be ordered to pay a fine and may be subject to incarceration.

Filing a Contempt Motion

If your ex-spouse is in violation of a court order, you do not merely have to accept the default. Instead, you have the right to take steps to enforce the court order, including filing a contempt motion with the court and serving the defendant with the motion. In order to ensure that your motion of contempt is filed accurately, it is best to work with a qualified lawyer who has experience managing contempt of court cases. In addition to filing a contempt motion, an attorney can also help you to understand the other options you have for enforcing a court order.

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To learn more about how our family lawyers at the office of Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division can help, please call us today or send us a message. We know how emotional and complex family law matters can be, and want to provide you with the representation you deserve.

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What Forms Do I Need To File a Divorce in Wilmington, NC?

Filing for Divorce

Not only is filing for a divorce an emotionally demanding process, it is also a legally intensive one. To be sure, in order to file for a divorce, one will need to gather and fill out the appropriate forms, file the forms at the relevant location, ensure that their spouse is served the petition and summons, and then negotiate any issues in a divorce (or go to court to litigate the divorce).

At the office of the Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division, our Wilmington family lawyers are able to help you navigate the divorce process, beginning with collecting and filing the proper divorce-related forms. Here’s an overview of what forms you’ll need to file for divorce in North Carolina:

What Forms Do I Need When Filing for a Divorce in North Carolina?

You can file for divorce in North Carolina without establishing a cause for divorce, other than separation of one year, if:

The following forms can help you to seek an absolute divorce from your spouse, but cannot help you in terms of seeking an award for equitable property distribution, alimony/spousal support, child support, or child custody. The three documents that you will need in order to inform the court of your intent to divorce are:

  1. Complaint for absolute divorce;
  2. Domestic civil action cover sheet; and
  3. Civil summons.

Once you have filled out these three forms, you must file them with your local clerk’s office and pay the filing fee.

One this step has been completed, the next step is to officially and legally inform your spouse of your intent to divorce. This requires serving your spouse with the complaint and summons (which can be done by the sheriff).

Once your divorce is finalized, two other important forms are the judgment for absolute divorce and the certificate of absolute divorce.

What About Resolving Issues in the Divorce?

The documents listed above are for those who are pursuing a pro se divorce, which means that they are representing themself during the divorce process. If you are hoping to obtain a judgment from the court in regards to other issues in the divorce, such as equitable distribution or child custody, there are separate forms that you must file, such as a claim of equitable distribution of marital property, or alimony and post-separation support forms.

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Navigating the divorce process on your own isn’t recommended, as if you make a mistake during the process, the consequences could be serious. Instead, you should work with a qualified family law attorney, such as those found at the Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division. You can reach our Wilmington family lawyers to schedule a consultation by calling our law office directly, or sending us a message telling us more about how we can be of assistance.

How Long Does Alimony Last?

Marriage is more than a romantic union; it is also a financial one. Often, one spouse will end up much worse off financially after a divorce, and North Carolina empowers judges to award alimony to one spouse. A Wilmington family lawyer can help you submit a request as part of your divorce.

Alimony is money one spouse pays to his or her ex, typically in monthly installments. Alimony helps ameliorate some of the unfairness of the divorce, often allowing the lower-earning spouse to maintain a comfortable lifestyle.

But how long does alimony last? Once upon a time, only women received alimony and they got it for the rest of their life. However, that is no longer the case around the country or in North Carolina specifically. The duration of alimony is set by a judge, and certain life events can also cause alimony to terminate.

Distinguishing Alimony from Post-Separation Support

First, we need to clarify that alimony is not the same as post-separation support, though sometimes people call them the same thing. Post-separation support is money one spouse will pay to the other for until alimony is determined. Once alimony is granted, dismissed, or denied, post separation support ends.

Calculating the Duration of Alimony

A judge has discretion for how long alimony lasts. The judge will look at a variety of factors and can decide to do one of the following:

A judge might set an end date if the marriage was very short, or if the judge wants to give one spouse a certain amount of time to get an education or training so they can be self supporting.

Even if the judge does not include an end date, this does not mean that a person ends up paying alimony forever. Instead, a spouse can always petition the court to increase or decrease alimony payments as circumstances warrant. For example, say a judge orders you to pay alimony to your ex-wife. Over the course of 2 years, she finishes her college degree and get a high-paying job. At this point, she probably does not need alimony, so you can petition a judge to cut off payments at that point.

Events that Terminate Alimony

Alimony will end if the following occurs:

If you suspect that an ex has entered a new relationship, meet with an attorney to review your case. You might be able to petition the court to cut off alimony.

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A judge has discretion for how long alimony lasts. The judge will look at a variety of factors and can decide to do one of the following:

A judge might set an end date if the marriage was very short, or if the judge wants to give one spouse a certain amount of time to get an education or training so they can be self supporting.

Even if the judge does not include an end date, this does not mean that a person ends up paying alimony forever. Instead, a spouse can always petition the court to increase or decrease alimony payments as circumstances warrant. For example, say a judge orders you to pay alimony to your ex-wife. Over the course of 2 years, she finishes her college degree and get a high-paying job. At this point, she probably does not need alimony, so you can petition a judge to cut off payments at that point.

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How Long Does Alimony Last After a Divorce in North Carolina?

During a divorce case, a judge will often award alimony if one spouse financially depends on the other. Alimony is also called spousal support or maintenance. Depending on the circumstances of a divorce, a court may award alimony for a specific period of time, permanently, or with zero spousal support.

Moreover, the rules governing alimony vary from one state to the next. In some jurisdictions, spouses must have been married for a certain period of time to be eligible for spousal support. Here, we lay out general alimony rules across the US, but if you have specific questions, please contact the experienced Wilmington family lawyers at Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division today.

General Alimony Rules

Once divorce in the country became a possibility, couples could only divorce based on misconduct. Given that it was the husband’s misconduct that ruined the marriage, he was expected to pay alimony. On the other hand, wives who committed the misconduct could forfeit their right to spousal support. Additionally, wives who cheated on their husbands weren’t eligible to get alimony.

No-fault divorces came into existence during the second half of the 20th century. But still, some states made spousal support conditional on which party was at fault. Today, a split exists across the US: marital fault plays a role in determining alimony allocation in half of the states.

Permanent alimony is spousal support awarded either for life or till the age of retirement. Some state laws dictate that a spouse cannot be mandated to make alimony payments past the retirement age of 65. Additionally, some states have a limit on the duration of permanent spousal support, prohibiting awards lasting longer than a decade. This is not the case in North Carolina.

Nowadays, rehabilitative alimony is replacing permanent alimony. It bridges the gap between the divorce date and the time the dependent party becomes financially independent.

How Long Do You Have To Be Married To Getting Alimony?

When one spouse depends on the other for finances, a certain assumption applies. The courts assume the dependent spouse has been in marriage long enough to forgo studies or work opportunities. Super-short marriages of a few years or less rarely result in prolonged spousal support awards. But, most states do not have a minimum amount of time for a dependent spouse to be eligible for alimony.

Some jurisdictions do have a set minimum period before a spouse is eligible for support. Courts will only award spousal support in marriages lasting longer than a decade in states such as:

In such states, alimony payments cannot last longer than half of the marriage’s length unless extenuating circumstances apply. For example, In Texas, marriages must be at least 10 years long for alimony awards, and payments only last 3 years. That’s excluding any extenuating circumstances like a physical disability.

Determining how much alimony a spouse may be eligible to get and the duration of the payments can be difficult. Most states do not have clear guidelines on how a judge should calculate alimony. Hence, spousal support awards vary from one county to another and even from one judge to the next.

A competent family law lawyer from Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division because they have the experience you need and may have insight on how your judges usually give rulings in alimony matters. Therefore, if you are trying to negotiate spousal support with your spouse, you should both have attorneys for a smoother process.

How Does Inheritance Factor Into Asset Division After a Divorce in North Carolina?

About Asset Division in North Carolina

If you are getting divorced in North Carolina, you may have questions regarding who has the right to claim an inheritance. Does your spouse have the legal right to claim a share of inheritance that was left to you? Can you claim inheritance that was left to your spouse? Here, our North Carolina divorce lawyers explain how inheritance is divided after a divorce in our state.

The Big Question: Is the Inheritance a Marital Asset?

North Carolina is an equitable distribution jurisdiction (North Carolina General Statutes § 50-20). Under state law, marital property is split up in an equitable manner, and equal is often assumed to be equitable. However, each spouse will retain their ‘non-marital assets’. Assets that are held separately from the marriage will not be divided in a divorce.

In determining how property will be divided, the first question you must ask yourself is whether or not the property a marital asset? In North Carolina, inheritance is generally not a marital asset. This means that inheritance — even if the gift was bequeathed during the marriage — can avoid the asset division process. A spouse who has received inheritance may be able to keep all of it as an individual asset.

Asset Division and Inheritance: There are Major Exceptions

While inheritance is generally assumed to be a non-marital asset, there are some major exceptions to that rule. First, there may be questions over whether or not the inheritance was actually left to the ‘couple’ as opposed to being left to an individual. An inheritance that was bequeathed to the marriage as a whole will likely be deemed a marital asset. That means that it will be subject to the state’s equitable distribution rules.

In addition to that exception, inheritance can ‘transmute’ from a non-marital asset to a marital asset based on the actions of the receiving spouse. For example, if one spouse receives $20,000 in inheritance individually, and then they deposit that money into a joint account and commingle the funds, that inheritance may become marital property. To keep inheritance from being divided in divorce, it should clearly be kept separately.

The Bottom Line: Inheritance is Often Non Marital Property, But Actions Matter

Dealing with inheritance and divorce can be complex and confusing. While North Carolina law allows a person to keep their inheritance as individual property, inheritance can become marital property if proactive measures are not taken to ensure that the inheritance is kept separately. It is strongly recommended that you consult with an experienced North Carolina asset division lawyer immediately if you:

Contact Our North Carolina Divorce Attorneys Today

At Speaks Law Firm, PC Family Law Division, our North Carolina divorce lawyers have extensive experience handling the full range of family law issues, including complex property division cases. If you are going through a divorce and you have questions about inheritance, we are here to help. For a private divorce consultation, please contact our Wilmington, NC law office today.