The mental, emotional, and physical exertion that accompanies the divorce process can sometimes overshadow its aftermath. Only after the papers have been signed will you remember that life has changed for both you and your kids. Aside from the separation, you might have to:
- share custody with your ex-spouse
- move to a new home
- re-evaluate your finances
Adjusting to this reality can be challenging, especially if you have children. You need to create a system that works for you but doesn’t overwhelm them. In this post, we review life after divorce with kids and how to adjust to it.
If you are going through a divorce or need advice on family law matters such as custody and alimony, contact Speaks Family Law to speak to a Wilmington Divorce Attorney.
Allow Your Kids Time to Adjust
Divorce is often devastating on kids, especially older ones. This is because, unlike younger children, they tend to have more attachments to their other parent, school, and neighborhood. Understand that it will take time for your children to adjust to their new life. Keep the conversations going and ensure they know the divorce is not their fault.
If your children don’t wish to discuss the divorce yet, give them time. Be careful, however, not to let them withdraw into themselves. Convince them that they will make new friends in their new school and neighborhood.
Get Your Kids Comfortable in Both Homes
If you and your ex-spouse share custody, your kids will inevitably have two homes. One or both of these could be new to them. Work with your ex-spouse to ensure your kids are comfortable in both houses. You can do this by involving them, for example, in decorating their new rooms.
You can also help them create new memories by playing with them or cooking their favorite meals. If they are set to spend time at their other home, help them pack everything to ensure their comfort.
It can be tempting to abandon routines after a divorce. However, consistency can provide some level of familiarity and comfort that can help your kids cope better with the divorce.
Try to avoid any abrupt transitions or deviations from daily activities. If you and your ex-spouse used to take your kids for ice cream every Saturday, go with them and explain why their other parent won’t join you.
Seek Professional Help
Despite your best efforts, it is normal to fail in some aspects of helping your kids cope with your divorce. If you notice worrying and regressive behavioral patterns in your kids, such as bedwetting and mood swings, consider therapy. You can discuss your options with a professional counselor.
Talk to a Wilmington Divorce Attorney Today
Different people will handle life after divorce with kids differently. It is important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to adjusting after a divorce. Essentially, you need to find what works for you and your kids in the long term.
The adjustments outlined here can prove challenging at times. You might face opposition from your ex-spouse or even kids. Fortunately, you can always fall back on expert advice.
If you need help with a family law matter or have questions about child custody, call us today at 910-408-7262 or contact us online to discuss your concerns with an experienced Wilmington Divorce Attorney.